The Holidays

It is emotionally exhausting.  In and out of peoples houses, doesn't matter that it is family.  More people then my child is used to.  No set schedule.

All these are characteristics of the Holidays.  Lauren and Caroline do not have a set schedule since school is out.  I'm so glad we don't have all week off.  Lauren's issues usually show up as hyperactivity.  She wants to go everywhere.  She wants to hang with cousins that are much older then her and she doesn't understand that she is in a different place in life then her older cousins.  Lauren also doesn't listen.  She is so wrapped up in what she is doing and she doesn't listen to instructions.
Caroline doesn't want to go too many places.  Two is good for her.  She plays by her self and since she only eats a narrow variety of food, meals are weird - for me- not too much for her.  I make her eat what every one else is eating,at least a few bites and then she gets pizza.

The day of Thanksgiving was terrible.  I asked them to clean their room before we left and I gave them an hour and an half to do so even though it would only take them 2o to 30 min.
I went into their room after 10 min and they were siting on a bed talking.  I got on to them and thought my stern voice had them going.  Not so much.  I went in 10 min later and they were sitting on the floor playing.  I raised my voice and told them what I expected of them.  Caroline said, "is this a bad day?'  I had to tell her it was getting there.  It too the whole hour and a half for them to get the room clean.

We stayed up too late on Thanksgiving day and that makes my kids grumpy.  Friday morning it was difficult to get them out of bed. 

It's late...........I'll finish this later.

ND therapy. Texture issues, food issues

Sleep talk  -"SLEEP TALK: A Breakthrough Technique for Helping Your
Child Cope with Stress and Thrive Through Difficult Transitions"

11.5.12  Begin Sleep talk. I waited 2.5 hours after Caroline went to bed to start the sleep talk.  I started by telling her I loved her.  Then went into I love to be happy.  I look into her eyes and she is staring at me.
I don't know if she was fully awake but her eyes were open.  Wow, she is such a light sleeper.
Maybe I can do it as she is going to sleep like I talk to her to hypnotize her.

 New Food Today:  Cinnamon muffin!!!  Yea Leon, the chef at Richard Joseph who made the muffins.

I'll try again tomorrow. 

11-6-12  I laid down with Caroline and started the sleep talk while she was awake.  "I love to try new food.  I will try the food my mom gives me."  Caroline, "Mom, what are you doing?'  Me, "Encouraging you to try new food. It's called sleep talk".  Caroline, "Good night mom." 

11.7. 2012:  I went to the store and bought spices for the smell therapy.

This is one of the three therapies that I will do with Caroline every day, hopefully.
Caroline has a bit of a cold or Alabama allergies, or something.  This evening I did the breathing therapy of 3 parts hydrogen peroxide and 5 parts water.  She blew her nose a few times and said she felt better but I'm sure she was just bored with sitting there.

This is ND therapy for a typical child.  Well, at least she hasn't been diagnosed with anything.  The toothette stimulates the nerves in the mouth and the brain.

  This is the same therapy for a child with Autism.  If given her way, she would eat pizza all day long, every day. Sometimes she would eat spaghetti, plain with no butter.  I did this therapy, along with the one above, years ago and have decided to do it again.  I'm hoping that stimulating the  nerves along with the smell therapy helps her discover new foods.

Creatures at my Door

Halloween

In a few days, a lot of creatures will visit your door. Be open minded. The child who is grabbing more than one piece of candy might have poor fine motor skills. The child who takes forever to pick out one piece of candy might have motor planning issues. The child who does not say "trick or treat" or "thank you" might be painfully shy, non-verbal. They are thankful in their hearts and minds. The

child who looks disappointed when he sees your bowl might have a life-threatening allergy. The child who isn't wearing a costume at all might have SPD or autism. Be kind, be patient, smile, pretend you understand. It's everyone's Halloween. Make a parent feel good by making a big deal of their special child. ♥

I never know exactly how Caroline is going to ask when we are at big public events.  Sometimes she gets overwhelmed by all the people and noise.

Halloween is no different.  I also get embarrassed because my usual polite child forgets to say "thank you" and she sometimes either gets too much candy or she tries to get candy when the home owner wants to give it out.   Saturday, we went to a "trunk or treat" type deal.  A local park had vendors set up tables and gave out candy.  There were two separate lines and they went in a "U" shape.

There was also an area for face painting, magic tricks, and some stuff I didn't see.  They also had a hay ride.    Caroline was frustrated a few times with the different way of giving out candy.  There were so many people that she plugged her ears some of the time and didn't say thank you.

It was so cold that night and my kids costumes were not winter proof.  Caroline, above, is a Hippy Chick.  Lauren, right, is Harry potter.  At least Lauren has a robe and can wear warm clothes underneath.  

Wednesday night we will go out in the neighborhood.  I hope it is warmer!  

We will have to go through a social story about the night.  Maybe about remembering to say thank you and about getting candy.  Caroline gets mad at me when I reminder her to be polite.  This makes the situation worse sometimes but I'm not going to stop.

Good luck to all those with special needs kids.

They grow up too fast

We went to Target tonight to look for Birthday and Christmas ideas.  I also needed to buy the kids winter shoes.  They have gone form a size 5 to a size 7 in two weeks.

We did not find shoes for two 10 year olds but they found shoes that they did like.  I...no so much.

So, although we did not find the robe one child wanted or the game the other one wanted, AND we did not find appropriate Sunday shoes; they did find some shoes that would drive me to drink!!

Stimming

Stimming

What is stimming?  Stimming is a number of different actions done over and over.

Echolalia is another kind of stim.

Caroline has both.  She smells her fingers, she imitates a laugh track, and she talks to imaginary people.  Some NT, neurotypical people stim too.  Have you ever twirled your hair, tapped a pencil, or chewed on a pencil?  Those can be categorized as stims.

One of Caroline's Echolalia stims is talking about back flips.  No matter how many times we talk about them in detail she still comes back to the subject that day or the next.  I put her in gymnastics and told her she would not learn how do back flip the first day.  Every day she asks when she is going to learn to do a back flip.  

Caroline is also "interested", her word, in construction.  There are several buildings under construction in our town and she has to comment on each one every time we drive by.

I've tried to catch her in her stims but she is smart enough to ask what I'm doing and she will stop. 

So, it is a constant battle with, 'Caroline, stop talking to imaginary friends. Caroline, stop using a laugh track.'

I don't let up.  Every time I hear her or see her do a stim I am on her to stop and start something more positive.

Social Stories

Social stories

Old social stories;  

When Caroline was younger she screamed all the time!! She was difficult to control at school and at home.   Here are some social stories that we had when she was in school

1) When I come in school with Mommy (Amy Self), I can stop and say "HI!" to the fish.  I will use walking feet in the hallway.  I will walk down the hallway.  I will walk down the hallway to my teacher's room.  I will not scream in the hallway.  I will walk into the classroom, put my backpack in my cubby and go play.

With kids on the spectrum, looking at other kids is difficult.  They are in their own world and they don't like to acknowledge others. 

2) We sit on the carpet and wait our turn.  The teacher sings to each friend.  When it is my turn, I will stand up.  I sill shake hands and say "good morning".  When the teacher says, "How are you?' I will tell her how I am feeling.  I can say "happy", "sleepy', "sad", "silly", "mad" or any other way I feel.  On Monday, the teacher will ask me about my weekend.  When the teacher asks me about my weekend, I will tell her some fun things I did.

                 This took many weeks to get right.  Caroline did not want to touch another person and did not really know how she felt.  We would practice on the way to school.  

3) When it is rest time, I will rest quietly.  I will not take toys from home living.  I will not talk loudly.  I will stay in my area and rest quietly.  I will not kick the wall.  I will lie on te floor quietly.  If a teacher tries to help me, I will not scream.

         Many of Caroline's social stories had "I will not scream" somewhere in them.

Social stories today  These are either posted near where the social story takes place, such as the bathroom or a t.v., or Caroline holds it and takes it with her such as walking down a hall or going to Sunday school.

 

1) When we watch T.V. it is okay to sing along with the songs or to answer questions that the characters ask.  When the t.v. show is over it is not okay to repeat the lines of the show. This is called T.V. talk and it is not okay to do when you are playing with friends, sitting in class, or listening to a story at school.  If your mom says it is okay, you may t.v. talk at home.

 2)  When sitting down in a chair you sit on your bottom, not on your feet.  When you sit on your bottom you are able to sit still and able to listen to your teacher.

3)  T.V. shows  have what is called a laugh track.  This is used on T.V. shows instead of a real audience.  I will not walk around home or school and tell jokes to myself and use a laugh track.  

 

4)  Games are fun.  The Wii and the DSI XL are okay but you can only play games after you study.  School work comes first and if you study a little every day then you don't have to study so much the week or the night before the test.  To play your Wii or DSI you must have homework done and anything else mom says.

5) When taking a shower I will wash all body parts and rinse off the water completely.  When washing my hair I will scrub my scalp to get all of the hair clean and I will rinse my hair until all the shampoo is out.  Taking a quick shower is not a good idea if I don't get my hair rinsed completely.

Rhythm and Rhymes

Eye hand coordination

Here are some of the fun rhymes that the kids do to engage each other and to work on hand eye coordination.

 

Decorating

 I'm trying to decorate for Fall.

My first project is a fall wreath.  I need to add some more leaves around the edge, it seems to have lost some ummph.  I bought the "S" from Hobby Lobby and bought the brown paint from Ace Hardware. It doesn't say what color the brown is on the can so I'm not sure....

My next project is to hang pictures and two shadow boxes.  Hmmm. That sounds like a lot so maybe I'll just cook some holiday treats. ;).

Massage therapy and working every Saturday

I'm a massage therapist....not a masseuse, and the downfalls of my job and me working every Saturday.......

I have to correct people who call me a masseuse.  No, those are people who give "happy endings".  We are Massage therapists and if you can't remember that we know 200 ways to hurt you and 200 muscles that can be hurt. :)

 Things to remember when getting a massage

1) take a shower

2) shave your legs.  One day growth is not bad but when I cut myself on your leg hair, we have a problem.

3) IF YOU ARE PREGNANT....FOR GOD SAKE........TELL THE FRONT DESK PEOPLE OR THE THERAPIST.  some therapists do not do pregnancy massage and it is best to wait until the second trimester.

My parents take care of my kids one Saturday a month.  The other Saturdays they go see their dad.  My mom said she didn't see them enough so she asked if she could have one Saturday.  Sure, no problem.  In the month of September, there are 5 Saturdays.  I called my dad to remind him that they had the kids this Saturday and he says, "OH NO.... I thought I told you."  no, i say.

My dad then tells me he and my mom are going to Tenn to see my nephew's football game.  Ok. 1) I wasn't invited and my other sister was.  I wouldn't go but I'd like to be invited.  2) they could have gone to any other game...

 So, I had to call about 8 people to see if they could take my kids on Saturday.  Most people are busy and some people just can't handle both my kids.  Caroline is a picky eater and Lauren will talk your ear off. I know if you have kids of your own then it is a task to take on two more but help a friend out just one Saturday!!!

I finally got in touch with one of my babysitters and she was glad to do it.  The only thing is since friends couldn't help me out I lost money today.

The kids had a great time.  They went to the park and played hard. They got McDonald's and they got to come back home and play their electronic games and watch youtube.

The Special Needs Wish List

The Special Needs Wish List

 Special needs children are a blessing and a challenge! There are not enough hours in a day to get everything done.  If I could have people at my side to help with anything I needed this is what my world would look like

 

1) Help with all the therapy: Program is what we do.  I would do more if there were more hours in a day.  There is hope. 

 This is Caroline when she was 5 years old.  One of the therapies is sound therapy , or Samonas. Bring a beer and help me out.

 

 

2) Homework help:  If I have to explain why birds migrate and what inherited traits vs. learned traits are one more time I'm going to scream.  Stop the insanity!  Bring a beer and help me out.

 

 

 3) The Challenge of FOOD;   If you can get this child to eat anything but cheese pizza and pasta without an hour long ordeal; I'll nominate you for the Nobel peace prize. Beer and pizza go great together. No beer for the child but me and you can have one.

4) Give me a break: Take my kids out to play so I can clean the house without them messing things up in 10 min.  Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. 

5) Bring a bat:  IEP meetings are no fun.  Fighting the system takes two.  Either help me with words or bring a bat.  I'm good with either one. 

6) Bring ear plugs:  While the kids are practicing piano, will you stay in the house with them?  I just can't take it anymore.  Piano with Shelly Ann is amazing.  She really knows how to work with kids.  The practice time is what I need help with.

If you know someone with a special needs child give them a hand.  Life events can make us stronger AND kill us at the same time.

The Single Mom's Wish List

Single Mom's wish list

 

As the years have gone by and I get movies or gift cards for Christmas and birthdays, I have begun to realize what I really need.  I love the clothes and gift cards but as a single mother of two, here is what I really need.

 

1) Break from cooking:  Come have dinner with me and the kids. Oh, and you can bring dinner.  Could you clean up afterwards also?

 

 

 

2) Babysit: Could you babysit so I can have a much needed respite from the kids? Just stick them to the wall and check on them every now and then.  

 

 

 

  4) Honey-Do;  I have a honey do list a mile long. Take your pic from hanging pictures, yard work, or grocery shopping.

 

 

4) Sleep:  Get my kids up and dressed and on the bus and let me sleep in just one morning. 

 

 

 

 

 

5: Bail me out:  Don't let it get that far. Come to and IEP with me and help me fight the special education system. 

 

 

 

 

 

Not on the same page

The struggle against evil

I still shelter my kids when it comes to T.V. and movies.  We do not watch t.v., in fact, I was only allowing the kids to watch about an hour on Friday nights and a little on Saturday mornings for about 3 years.  About a year ago, I turned off cable completely.  There is no reason to pay that much for cable when I started a self defense class on Fridays and I started working on Saturdays.

My kids only hear bad stuff from school, their dad and his 3rd wife, and the t.v. or movies he lets them watch.  Caroline casually told me while we were eating dinner tonight that her dad's wife says that adults have the choice of saying bad words.  *great*  I told Caroline that we all have a choice and she has a choice to say any word she wants to and then I have the choice to punish her if it is a word that we have discussed and one that she knows is not a good word.  

I have started letting some words in, it's difficult not to.  An innocent movie can slip in a word and the movie as a whole is okay.  I have talked to my kids enough for them to know that there are more intelligent  words to replace the ugly ones with.

I just wish I wasn't being undermined by other adults.   

 Things I want my girls to know

                                                           
     My dear children.  I hope that I have balanced out my time well.  As a single parent it is hard to be the fun, do everything, eat ice cream for dinner parent and be the disciplinarian.  To be the stay up late yet get you up in time for school and church parent. The big birthday parties and going shopping on Saturday parent and working two jobs and 7 days a week to feed you, put braces on your teeth, do therapy, and clothe you parent.
I pray that I've taught you how to be Godly young woman who have balance in your life.
I leave this letter to you so you can remember some important lessons in life that will maybe help you life be peaceful.


#1 Put God First

     In Deuteronomy 6:5, Mark 12:30, and in Matthew 22:37 God says, " Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Verse 38 of Matthew 22 says, "This is the first and greatest commandment."  

     Many temptations will come your way in life. Boys, clothes, money, jobs, friends, and music are some of the distractions that can get in the way of you loving the God that created you.  Just like I'm writing you this letter, God has written you a letter much more important. It's called the Bible. Stay focused.

#2  Play every day. Have the faith of a child.

     ^{Mark  13} People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. ¹⁴ When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ¹⁵ Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” ¹⁶ And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

     No one has ever been on their death bed and said, "I wish I had worked more."  Do arts and crafts for the fun of it. Have fun and play at home 
                                                 

 #3                    Lie #1: The One With The Most Toys Wins.

      Things will not make you happy.  Take a look at the movie stars, artists, models, and athletes of today.  Look in the news and see how many of them are in rehab, on their 4th or 5th marriage, or in jail for a crime.

These people think that money, fame, furs, diamonds, illegal drugs, alcohol and sex will make them happy.  

Matthew 6:20, 21.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.   21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
 Also, there is nothing wrong with having money or toys.  Work hard and if God chooses to bless you with riches then use them wisely and always help others.



#4  Don't lose your way.

      Life does not come with an instruction manual.  Feel free to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, but learn from your mistakes.  There are some mistakes that others have made and you need to learn from those and do not make the sames ones.Illegal drugs are never a good idea.  Getting pregnant as a teenager is not going make you cool.  No one says that you have to know what you want to be when you grow up at the age of 16, or 18, or 25.  Keep searching God's will and He will show you the plan, He promises.

Jer 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future. 

#5 Don't play dumb. 

     Being smart is cool.  God gave you freckles and your IQ. Use them the best way you know how.  Braces are cool and so are glasses. Keep loving science and math. Be a mad scientist or an engineer.  Be a marine biologist or a musician.  Read, then read some more Books. 

 #6   Look people in the eyes and listen to what they say

     Eye contact is so important.  Look at them when they speak to you and ask questions about what they have told you. 

      

#7  Everyone should be important enough to know their names.

   

       

 

        Get to know the cashier's name.  If there is maintenance in your building or at your school, make sure you know their name and call them by name.  No one is less important then you.

   

   

#8 Be Healthy  and exercise

     Practice moderation in all things.  Eat to live, don't live to eat. Get regular check up, doctor and dentist.  Know your rights about vaccinations. Get out and work out be healthy

 #9 Work

Colossians 3:17

¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

     If you find a job you love then you will never work.  If you work outside the home then work hard, be early never late, and stay with it.  If you are a stay at home mom then be organized and do a good job.

#10 Be a friend. Protect those who can not protect themselves.

     Love your neighbor as yourself.  Your neighbor is a coworker, the person that lives beside you, the person in the car next to you or in the desk next to you.  Your neighbor is Baptist, Muslim, Jewish, gay, straight, male, female. Your neighbor is in jail, under the bridge, or the owner of a company.  They are the cab drivers, the bus drivers, the teachers, the parents, the instructors. Love your neighbors.   

Most of all.  Do not look down on a person with a special need or treat a person with a disability with anything but respect.  God created that person to glorify Himself and He has a special purpose in their life.  You could learn from that person.

#11 We may be the weaker sex but we hold all the power.

Be gentle on the boys but do not let them own you or disrespect you in any way.  Both my girls are black belts in karate, use your self defense.

Rules for dating my daughter:

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, you may think we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on his subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.  Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my Daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies, which feature chainsaws, are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

#12 I will always be here for you.

  My home is your home.  You are always welcome. If you need to talk, I will be here. If you need me to pick you up from a party, I will do so even if it is 2:00 am.  

My sweet beautiful girls.  I am always here for you and I love you very much.

~Mom ~

Sept 4, 2012
I've taken a picture almost every day of the kids.  It will be interesting to see how they change in a school year or from the beginning of one school year to the next.

Tonight, I was so exhausted from work that we went to Applebee's for dinner.  It is getting easier to take Caroline out in public.  She still cries or has a small melt down if they put sauce on her pasta, put butter on anything, or put whipped cream on her ice cream. 
the Whipped cream happened tonight.  The server was nice enough to make another one, I usually just scoop it off.
She also got upset when the server brought her water, even though she got up and asked a few employees where the water fountain was. 
Sometimes I just want to stay home and not take her out but I know she needs to know how to act in public.
This video shows a little of what they do in public.  I'm sure it doesn't help that i'm egging them on.

What am I going to do with them?  I think I'll have to keep 'em.